Tomb Raider: Fragments - ideas wanted!

I've taken up amateur screenwriting as a hobby and have just completed one Batman piece which should be online soon. Anyways, I've just started on a script based off Legend.

This here is the very first bit of the script.

FADE IN:

EXT. EXECUTIVE JET – NIGHT

Establishing – Lightning flashes around the jet as it cruises through turbulent skies above the Himalayan mountain ranges.

INT. EXECUTIVE JET

LARA CROFT and her mother, AMELIA CROFT sit in the passenger compartment of the jet. The young Lara holds a scrap book open, in it a drawing of Yetis in a Himalayan village.

LARA CROFT

It doesn’t mean if nobody’s caught one, that they’re not real.

AMELIA CROFT

That is very true, but perhaps they do not wish to be found. I’ve heard they’re rather fierce.

The older Croft fingers an ornate brooch which shines faintly.

LARA CROFT

Yeti only look fierce. Perhaps it’s because they don’t like to be cold so much of the time. I shouldn’t like it either.

AMELIA CROFT

You’ll never have to be cold, my Lara, if you don’t want to be.

Amelia kisses her daughter. She gazes out the window of the jet, and a sharp flash catches her eye.

AMELIA CROFT

Henry! What’s happened?!

EXT. EXECUTIVE JET

A light green mist plays on the wings of the aircraft, as the engine catches fire and explodes.

INT. EXECUTIVE JET COCKPIT

HENRY

Lady Croft, please stay seated. (Into radio) This is Bravo-Tango 229. We’re losing altitude, starboard engine malfunction…stabilizers non-responsive…we’re going full nose down!

INT. EXECUTIVE JET PASSENGER COMPARTMENT

LARA CROFT

Mother, are we going to crash?

AMELIA CROFT

No Lara, we’ll be fine.

Amelia buckles her daughter in, and then does the same for herself. An overhead luggage compartment door flies open. A piece of luggage flies through the craft and into the cockpit, knocking Henry the pilot out.

AMELIA CROFT

Close your eyes, darling.

LARA CROFT

I don’t want to close my eyes.

We see a white flash and the opening credits roll.

EXT. BOLIVIAN CLIFFS - DAY

An older Lara Croft is climbing a dramatic cliff-face in Bolivia

INT. CROFT MANOR –BRYCE’S OFFICE

Bryce sits in his office watching Lara’s point of view though her camera.

ZIP

You know, I think you forgot your climbing gear on purpose.

EXT. BOLIVIAN CLIFFS

CROFT

Please Zip, It’s like climbing a set of stairs, only far less boring.

The ledge she is holding onto crumbles, and Lara falls, grabbing another ledge below.

INT. CROFT MANOR – ZIP’S OFFICE

ZIP

Yeah, well I want to throw up every time you look down.

ALISTER, slim and bespectacled, enters Zip’s office.

ZIP

Hey Alister’s back! Grab a headset.

Alister takes a headset and sits down at the computer next to Zip.

LARA (over headset)

Back so soon? From Florence, wasn’t it?

ALISTER

Decided on Genoa at the last minute…my dissertation is never going to see the light of day at this rate. But never mind that. What are you doing in Bolivia?

EXT. BOLIVIAN CLIFF-FACE

Lara eyes a ledge far below, and makes a swan dive. She catches the ledge and pulls herself up.

LARA

I’ve been looking for some artifacts…well for some time now.

ZIP

The Tomb Raider looking for artifacts. Who would’ve guessed?

ALISTER

What sort of artifacts, exactly?

LARA

An ornate stone dais, among other things. Anaya, my university peer, tipped me off on it.

ZIP

A big rock. And she won’t say why.

LARA

Well, where would the suspense be in that?

Lara proceeds up some rocks, jumping to catch a vine and then swinging to the other side. Lara’s eyes narrow as she spies a guard.

GUARD

Yeah, well I don’t see no climber. I can’t shoot on sight if I don’t see nobody. I got all worked up thinking I’d get to put someone down today.

Lara walks up behind the guard and knocks him out.

ZIP

Who was that?

ALISTER

Question is, why go to so much trouble to guard some ruins?

LARA

Quite. Someone wants something I should be interested in.

Lara walks through a waterfall and emerges facing a large temple.

LARA

Isn’t she beautiful? I’m falling in love all over again.

ZIP

You say that to all the ruins.

LARA

I’m a terribly lucky girl. Tiwanaku are among the most fascinating ancient civilizations. Wait…

Lara raises a pair of binoculars to her eyes. Lara’s POV: we see mercenaries emerge from vans.

Here come the bloody tourists to spoil it all.

ZIP

Your cam doesn’t pick up detail that small. What do you see?

LARA

Men with guns. Mercenaries, by the look of them.

ALISTER

What are they doing here?

LARA

Getting into trouble.

Lara draws her trademark two pistols and shoots a pile of rocks. They roll down a slope, which she immediately slides down.

GUARDS

Rockslide! Hey, it’s her!

The guards are crushed by the rocks and more run in. Lara shoots a pillar, which falls, crushing more guards. She finishes off the rest in a tense shootout. Lara puts away her guns and proceeds up the steps of the ancient temple. Two more guards appear. One fires a shot that narrowly misses Lara. Lara draws her weapons. The guards, frightened, run into the temple. A loud grinding noise can be heard.

ZIP

Ow. That sounded permanent.

LARA (with mock sympathy)

Death by irony is always painful. Amateurs.

Lara proceeds up the steps. There is no sign of the guards. Lara stops short of the floor in front of her, instead kicking a small rock onto it. The panels of the floor slide open, revealing a pit filled with turning spikes. In slow motion Lara jumps and activates her magnetic grapple which we see attaching to a metal piece above. Lara hangs precariously above the pit.

ZIP

Lara!

Lara swings to safety and detaches the grapple.

ALISTER

Glad to see you’re back on your feet.

LARA

It’s a useful survival skill.

What happens is I'm not sure whether to make it a direct adaptation of Legend and if not, what changes to the story I should make. Ideas, anyone?